Parenting Tip of the Day

Tip #11 - Remember to exercise

2009-04-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

Exercise is extremely important as a parent. Some people may say the reason to stay in shape is so you can live to see your grand kids or have more energy to play with your kids, but they're wrong. The reason parents need to exercise is so they can maintain their physical superiority over their children. Children continually grow and get stronger and parents need to make sure they stay one step ahead of them.

In the animal kingdom older weaker adults are killed off by the younger stronger animals. Same with a family. If the parents become weaker than the kids the children will soon rule the house.

Being stronger then your children will come in handy in situation like when you have to take your kid to timeout. Most parents have to give up on timeout when there kids are still young, but if you maintain your physical stature you can keep sending your kids to timeout well into their teens.

Being larger than your kids also has the added bonus of intimidation. This can come in handy when using threats. Intimidation will give more validity to your threats. Please refer to Tip #10 for more information on effective threats.

Bonus tip: If you feed your kids less food it will slow their growth, which means you won't have to exercise as hard to maintain your lead.

Tip #10 - The key to parenting is finding the best threat

2009-04-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

Effective parenting requires the use of threats. Anyone who says otherwise has never had a kid push them to the edge. The edge is the point when reasoning and games fly out the window and threats are the only option. But threats are tricky. If it's not the right threat then your heading over the edge. If you get it right then you'll buy yourself a few minutes to regain you sanity. The trick is to find each kids key threat. All kids have a key and they are different for every kid.

Example:
Hyrum's key is his blanket. Here is a daily dialog in our house:
Dad: Hyrum get dressed
Hyrum: (ignores Dad)
Dad: HYRUM get dressed
Hyrum: (ignores Dad)
Dad: HYRUM GET DRESSED
Hyrum: (ignores Dad)
Dad: HYRUM GET DRESSED OR I'M TAKING YOUR BLANKET AWAY!
Hyrum: (Screams at Dad, then gets dressed)

It ain't pretty but he was dressed in time for school.

If you don't know your kids key here are a few helpful tips and steps on how to figure it out.
Tips:
1. Try to figure it out before your kid pushes you to the edge. If your at the edge when you start you won't be rational enough to figure it out
2. Come prepared with a few ideas of what the key may be
3. The key will most likely be a favorite activity or a favorite toy

Steps on how to figure it out:
1. When your kid is being definent, threaten with the #1 item on your list.
2. Check your kid's response to the threat. If they are doing what you asked, you were right. If they are still defient, repeats steps 1-2 with the next item on your list until you find the one that works.

Hopefully, learning how to more effectively threaten our children will help us all become better parents.

Tip #9 - Kids are a great cover for us to act like kids

2008-10-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

As adults we are not supposed to do childish things like running around playing tag or making pinewood derby cars. Having children provides the perfect cover for these childish behaviors we all want to do. Doing these childish things make it look like we are being good parents because we are "spending time with our kids" but really I just want to act like a kid.

Example:
Halloween is fast approaching and the kids wanted to carve pumpkins. The kids are a little to young to be handling sharp objects so Arin and I "helped" them carve their pumpkins. The kids picked out the designs they wanted and helped clean out the guts. Then they went and played while Arin and I carved the pumpkins. It was a lot of fun and my pumpkin, sorry I mean "Hyrum's" pumpkin looks totally awesome.

Tip #8 - Remember to collect incriminating evidence

2008-10-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

Kids are always doing things that will be embarrassing to them later in life. As a parent it is your job and duty to always have a camera handy to document such moments in your child's life. These pictures and videos can be used later in life to black mail your kids into doing their chores or to scare off an unwanted boyfriend or girlfriend.

Example:
The other day Hyrum came out of Ella's room dressed up as Mrs. Nesbitt (Toy Story, when Buzz is at the tea party). As a responsible parent I had to pull out the camera and document this for later use.

Tip #7 - Let your kids listen to 80's music

2008-09-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those evenings where there's nothing on tv and there nothing to do? If you need some entertainment on those boring evenings, let your kids listen to some 80's songs. Listening to them sing the chorus over and over again is all the entertainment you will need.

Example:

Tip #6 - Fruit snacks are your best friend

2008-08-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

Kids will do anything for fruit snacks. Every parent should have a cupboard dedicated to fruit snacks. When you have a new baby, instead of the hospital giving you a diaper bag with formula samples it should be a diaper bag filled with fruit snack samples.

Example:
When ever the kids are bugging us we usually try to send them downstairs to play or watch TV. Most of the time they refuse to go. They know they are bugging us and want to continue torturing us. Why would they leave? This usually means we need to sweeten the deal with some fruit snacks. The conversation usually goes like this:

Us: Go downstairs and play. You're bothering us.
Them: No.
Us: Go downstairs.
Them: No.
Us: Go downstairs.
Them: No.
Us: If you go downstairs we'll give you some fruit snacks.
Them: FRUIT SNACKS!!!! (as they run down the stairs)

It works every time. And for those parents who are worried about the sugar content or the artificial coloring, just remember, they have "fruit" in their name so they can't be that bad, right?

Parenting Tip of the Day?

2008-08-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

Maybe I shouldn't have called my blog "Parenting Tip of the Day". Maybe I should have went with "Occasional Parenting Tip". It's been a crazy couple of weeks. You can check out all the details on my wife's blog. I have a whole list of tips just waiting to be posted. I'll get back on track, I promise.

Tip #5 - Use your environment to your advantage

2008-07-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things around us ( both man-made and natural ) that kids don't understand. A good parent will know how to exploit that lack of understanding and use it for the better good of the home.

Example:
We have deer that regularly walk around the neighborhood. They even come into the yard and eat our bushes. Well one day the kids were misbehaving and the deer where in the yard. Seeing an opportunity to exploit our kids lack of knowledge about Santa Claus, we told them that the deer were Santa's deer. We said that they were here checking on the kid and they were going to go back and tell Santa that Hyrum and Ella were not being good kids. Well, it worked like a charm. Whatever they were doing wrong stop immediately. This exploit still works today. Any time the kids see the deer in the yard (which is all year long) the kids act like angels. We have even been able to extend it to times when we haven't seen the deer. We just mention that we saw the deer in the yard this morning and it still works.

Tip #4 - Never ask your kids if your cool

2008-07-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

Never ask your kids if your cool unless you're prepared for the truth.

Example:
Hyrum was telling us how cool his aunt's boyfriend was because of something he has. As a result of my lapse of judgment, I asked Hyrum "Daddy doesn't have that, so am I cool?" To which Hyrum promptly replied "No." He was correct in his assessment of my coolness and I know I'm not cool but no one wants it confirmed by a 5 year old.

As a general rule of thumb, never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

Tip #3 - If you have your kids run in circles long enough they will run out of energy

2008-07-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

Have you every had one of those nights where the kids are so full of energy they won't go to sleep? The simple solution is to have them run in circles. Eventually they will run out of energy.

Example:

Remember to use circles. Running in circles will make them too dizzy to fight you when you put them in bed.

Tip #2 - Grandparents have a greater influence on your kids than you do

2008-07-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

It is sad but true, children listen to their grandparents more than they listen to their parents.

Example:
Another Hyrum story for you. Hyrum loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That is his request for every meal. He usually eats 5 or 6 pb&j sandwiches a week. The problem with this was that he would refuse to eat the crust. So he would always ask us to cut the crust off. Well, since he never eats anything we decided it was better to go through the trouble of cutting off the crust than not have him eat the sandwich. So for years we have cut off the crust. Periodically we tried to convince him to eat the crust but to no avail. So a few months back, Grandma and Grandpa were visiting and Grandpa was making Hyrum a pb&j sandwich. Hyrum naturally asked Grandpa to cut off the crust to which Grandpa promptly explained that the crust is what gives us big muscles. Hyrum naturally believed his Grandpa and since that day Hyrum has always eaten the crust on his sandwiches.

So the moral of the story is that if there is something you want your kids to do or believe, have Grandma or Grandpa tell them, I guarantee you will have greater success.

Tip #1 - It's not wrong to use your children's fears against them

2008-07-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

God gave children fears for a reason, so parents could use those fears to get their children to do what they want them to do.

Example:
Before I get into the example there are a couple of things you need to know.
1st Hyrum's scared of spiders
2nd Hyrum's room is in the basement
3rd We have spiders in the basement
4th A week or so before this happened I had noticed a small spider living behind Hyrum's bed and I hadn't got around to killing it
5th We live in an old house so the walls are made of plaster
6th Hyrum likes to make holes in the walls

So here's the example. We have told Hyrum (he was 4 when this happened) a million times not to make holes in the walls. Any time he finds a crack or hole he tries to make it bigger by digging at it with anything he can get his hands on. It drives me crazy because I have to go fix the hole he just made. One day we were in the living room and Hyrum started picking at a small hole in the wall. I was sick of telling him to stop so I told him that spiders can get into the house through the holes that he makes in the walls. I said that the spiders would come in through the holes and climb into his bed. This freaked him out and he stopped digging at the hole. Well, that night when I was putting him to bed I remembered that there was a spider living behind his bed. So to reinforce the story I had told him about the spiders getting into his bed, I pulled his bed out and showed him the spider that had "come in through the hole he made and climbed into his bed." This really really really freaked him out and he has never made another hole in my walls. In fact it worked so well that when my 2 year old started digging at holes in the walls he told her to stop and warned her about the spiders that would get into her bed. Mission accomplished.

Why I started this blog

2008-07-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

So I've been a father for 5 years now. Over the past 5 years my wife and I have learned many valuable lessons about raising children and we continue to learn new lessons every day. I thought it was unfair to keep our knowledge a secret from the rest of the parenting world. So I thought I would start a blog to disseminate our knowledge to anyone who whats to read it. Enjoy.