Effective parenting requires the use of threats. Anyone who says otherwise has never had a kid push them to the edge. The edge is the point when reasoning and games fly out the window and threats are the only option. But threats are tricky. If it's not the right threat then your heading over the edge. If you get it right then you'll buy yourself a few minutes to regain you sanity. The trick is to find each kids key threat. All kids have a key and they are different for every kid.
Example:
Hyrum's key is his blanket. Here is a daily dialog in our house:
Dad: Hyrum get dressed
Hyrum: (ignores Dad)
Dad: HYRUM get dressed
Hyrum: (ignores Dad)
Dad: HYRUM GET DRESSED
Hyrum: (ignores Dad)
Dad: HYRUM GET DRESSED OR I'M TAKING YOUR BLANKET AWAY!
Hyrum: (Screams at Dad, then gets dressed)
It ain't pretty but he was dressed in time for school.
If you don't know your kids key here are a few helpful tips and steps on how to figure it out.
Tips:
1. Try to figure it out before your kid pushes you to the edge. If your at the edge when you start you won't be rational enough to figure it out
2. Come prepared with a few ideas of what the key may be
3. The key will most likely be a favorite activity or a favorite toy
Steps on how to figure it out:
1. When your kid is being definent, threaten with the #1 item on your list.
2. Check your kid's response to the threat. If they are doing what you asked, you were right. If they are still defient, repeats steps 1-2 with the next item on your list until you find the one that works.
Hopefully, learning how to more effectively threaten our children will help us all become better parents.
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5 comments:
"Hopefully, learning how to more effectively threaten our children will help us all become better parents." I loved this last line. It sounds like an inappropriate line from a Sacrament Talk about parenting.
Some day you need to put all of your parenting tips in a book. I'd buy it!
excellent tip. your regular readers have been waiting months for a new parenting tip. good thing i don't have kids or i wouldn't been up the creek without a paddle the past few months!
Geesh Ben, I wonder where you learned that? Of course it only worked with Ruth...
I would only add that you need to make sure that you can follow through with the threat. Don't threaten something you know you won't do or they'll be the winner.
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